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August 10, 2012

By: Richard Rawlings

CARS

10 Ways to Cope with Fast N’ Loud Withdrawals

We know, we know. Your Wednesday nights haven’t been the same without us. You’ve been forced to peel yourself off the couch in search of other forms of entertainment. Or maybe you’re cheating on us with another Wednesday night show. It’s OK. We can get through this.

The good news is, Fast N’ Loud is coming back with all new episodes in the fall, so for those of you experiencing Fast N’ Loud Withdrawals, there’s hope in sight. We’ll let you know as soon as the official date is set, but until then we’d like to offer these clinically proven coping mechanisms.

10 Ways to Cope with Fast N’ Loud Withdrawals

1.  Grow a beard.

2.  If you can’t grow a beard, find someone with a beard and ask if you can adopt him and change his name to Aaron.

3.  Go to the zoo. Watch the monkeys throw poo at each other.

4.  Make loud, exaggerated car sounds with your mouth when turning corners in your car. Or when rounding corners out of your car.

5.  Point to people with both hands and say, “WHAOW!” in true Richard fashion. (We have no idea how to spell the sound that comes out of Richard’s mouth.)

6.  Wear your sunglasses at night.

7.  Take your car apart and put it back together.

8.  Take someone else’s car apart and put it back together.

9.  Get your motorcycle license.

10. Wheel and deal with everyone. If the cashier says your groceries cost $50, tell her $30 works better for you.

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